Friday, April 8, 2011

Social Insecurities

When I picked up Raphaela from Gan today, two other parents were standing together and talking, practically beaming about the fantastic play-date their two girls (both in Raphaela's group) had experienced this week.  This same mother has invited several other kids from the group for play-dates with her daughter.

Not my daughter, at least not yet.  The insecure child in me felt socially outcast, and she is now wondering why Raphaela has not received this "Golden Ticket."  I hope, of course, that nothing I did as a parent in the Gan has dissuaded this family from inviting us over.  My concerns stem not from my issues (though it could be argued otherwise), but rather from wanting Raphaela to have as many friends and fun days as she can imagine and deserves.

I can also get pro-active and start inviting children over, take the initiative rather than sitting shyly in the proverbial corner.

3 comments:

s5 said...

I think you found the right solution: be proactive, don't wait for this child to invite raphaela, invite her if you think she should play with her... or an other child who is friends with raphaela...

I know what it feels like to feel "left out", but I had to convince myself that most of the cases it is just a coincidence that I stand by when people discuss things like "this wonderful playdate", and the roles might be inverted (me discussing "wonderful playdates" with others, while others are not "in the loop".) Just that in this cases I am so much into discussing wonderful playdates, that I would not note others standing there and feeling left out...

Commenter Abbi said...

Agreed, if this important to you (and it should be) take the initiative and start inviting.

koshergourmetmart said...

Don't feel paranoid or project your own feeling about being left out. They were talking about the great playdate their daughters had together which was not meant as a dis of excluding you or RR (or anyone else in earshot). Kids at this age do not have preferences on who they want to play with. They also do not have friends in the same way older kids do. If these girls moved away from each other they would probably not remember each other several months later Perhaps, the mothers of the kids who have had these playdates with this child you refer to are friendly and the inviting mother figured she can spend some time with the other mothers and have their kids play together. Definitely take the proactive approach and see where it gets you.