Monday, March 8, 2010

180 Degree Turn

After seeming so helpful and sympathetic on Sunday, the Contractor informed me yesterday that his employer does not care how the construction affects me, my daughter or my work, and that they will be returning in full force by the end of the week. "It will be terrible, you will suffer," he said. He also blamed me for being bored and "unemployed" this week, when it was his side that did not follow the proper procedures.

I desperately need to figure out an alternative to my home office, and so far the five people and places I have investigated have refused me. I was particularly counting on working very hard these next three weeks, to compensate for the three weeks that we will be in the United States for Pessach.

Very practically, I cannot afford to not work for six weeks straight, and I feel like a miserable failure as a parent because I am not being given the chance to provide for my child.

Last night I cried more than I have in a very long time, years, and in the middle of all this, one of my less bright neighbors left two dying kittens at my doorstep. They were so new that they still had remnants of the umbilical cord from birth, and it was clear that their mother abandoned them. In the middle of all this insanity in my life, I tried to feed these kittens (with a syringe) some of my breast milk, and then had to scurry around to find Raphaela a baby sitter, so I could take these babies to the emergency veterinarian in the middle of the night.

I feel like this is all a test, and I have failed. What's worse, I feel like I am slipping into very old and very negative patterns, and am having trouble asking for help.

6 comments:

shoshi said...

I wish you all the best for this hard period.

Construction noise and vibrations is really very cumbersome, and the landlord and contractor dealt with it in a very sloppy manner.

Try to focus on what you can do and not loose energy over spilt milk, which was not spilt by your fault...

koshergourmetmart said...

"I feel like a miserable failure as a parent because I am not being given the chance to provide for my child." don't let outside forces make you feel this way-you are providing for your child by giving her a loving home and that makes you a success. the money/work situation will resolve itself.

Doc said...

Thank you! (Here I go, crying again...)

Rabba bar bar Chana said...

Is there anything you can do, legally?

Also, what made the contractor become not just uncaring but downright sadistic? ("It will be terrible, you will suffer"). What an asshole!

I have no idea if this is in any way practical, but can you go to the US 3 weeks early and do some freelance chiropractic work in an existing office there?

Doc said...

Interesting question, why the contractor turned on me so suddenly, I have the answer and am not at all pleased about it: my upstairs neighbor came to me yesterday to apologize on behalf of her husband, an immature Israeli man who lacks any common sense in his interactions with other human beings. Apparently he used my situation to advance his own concerns with this construction, and pushed the contractor too far. And so now, the contractor is taking it out on me and my daughter.

Sarah said...

Can you list what you are looking for in a working space? Perhaps those of us in the area can think of something, once we know what you need.