Tuesday, July 10, 2012

The Score Card (thus far)

A selection of the responses I have received regarding this situation:
One mother of a child at the same Gan said, "It was bound to happen to one of us, we have noticed that the staff does not intervene in a timely manner.  My husband and I are sorry it happened to you, hang in there and let us know how we can help."

Another mother of a child at the same Gan said, "Really S's email rings true, if there is a discipline issue you should have turned to the nursery teachers. But I know you and I want to hear your side of the story, because I find it hard to believe that you would do such a thing.  S made it sound like a monster!"
(I directed her to this blog, so she could read for herself and make her own judgement.  It is most convenient for my sanity that I do not have retell the story.)

The father of one of Raphaela's classmates, one of the most sweet and sensitive boys I have ever seen, told me that he has held himself back on many occasions from reacting to E and defending his own son, and though he would not say it in front of a group, he knows that I reacted appropriately given the boy and the situation.

Another mother of a child at the same Gan suggested that I have to seriously consider the consequences for Raphaela, to move her away from her friends a month before Gan ends, whether it will entail too much trauma.  Her place for next year, Emunah, seems to agree and will not accept Raphaela for the last month before the Summer break.

An American  friend who has several children and veteran experience with the Israeli public and private school system reminded me that I protected my daughter, and that I can't let S or E's mother change that story, that I must validate and strengthen myself if we are all meant to come to a decent resolution.

The mother of Raphaela's closest friend, called this whole story "a tempest in a teapot," offered to take Raphaela to Gan this morning, but then encouraged me to fight my inner demons (and the bullies in the Gan) by showing up this morning, with my head high. I did go to Gan, felt nauseous the entire time, snuck in with Raphaela and then ran away before anyone could see me or try to make eye contact with me.

Apparently there is a secret cadre of Gan parents who are on my side and are planning an all out blitz to take down the enemy, whatever that means.  I would pass on the major maneuvers and the sweet revenge if it meant that people would come up to me, in public at the Gan, and express their support.

S left me a message on my cellphone, she seemed to think that there was a "misunderstanding..."

1 comment:

Midlife Singlemum said...

I think you can take S's message as an apology - the nearest you're going to get to one. it seems you have enough support in the gan not to feel like you've been demonized. It seems that the other parents are not blind or stupid, the ganenet has backed down a bit (possibly someone had a word with her). Move on with your dignity in tact - you were the mother who finally stood up to the bully. Well done.