Every morning for the last two weeks, I have taken Raphaela to nursery, and I have become accustomed to staying for about a half hour to sit in the corner while Raphaela plays, or I end up being surrounded by several children and I read them books. One little boy who has a crush on Raphaela always shows me his latest "boo-boos," and we discuss various ways that it will feel better soon.
This morning one of the older girls asked me why I "always" bring Raphaela in the morning. I answered that I am her Mommy, and I enjoy taking a walk in the morning and like to watch Raphaela play with her friends.
Then this girl quickly got to the point, and said, "Well what about her Daddy? Why doesn't he ever take her to nursery?"
I was not sure how to answer. Though I am quite sure that most children know someone whose parents are divorced, or who live in non-conventional situations, I was not prepared for the discussion.
I gave the lame answer that everyone has their jobs, and repeated that I enjoy the morning nursery ritual. Then this little girl told me all about how her father sometimes works nights and only comes home in the morning, as she is on her way out the door.
I need to figure out how to tell my story in the least complicated way, for myself and for Raphaela.
3 comments:
Children waste no time. It's better to decide what you want to tell Raphaela sooner rather than later, because kids are going to start asking her as well.
Don^t always feel compelled to give an answer.
In this case, I suppose that
"And your daddy, does your daddy sometimes bring you to the nursery" would have been enough.
I think this little girl just wanted to talk about her own daddy, not so much about Raphaela's
Keep this in mind, because sometimes too many details might be uncalled for, even if the question literally was "why does her daddy never bring her".
This said, I think it is a good ideal to take this opportunity to think over how you would react.
I think you are equating this girl's motives in asking you this question of where is RR's daddy with what a fellow adult would ask you. Kids at this age may know kids who's parents are divorced but do not really understand what it really means. (even kids who's parents are divorced are confused) I agree with s5 that this girl probably wanted to talk about her dad in that her response to you was telling you about her dad instead of asking more questions about RR's dad.
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