When Raphaela started nursery at the beginning of October, I expanded my available office hours. After all, if she were settled in and playing before eight in the morning, there was every reason for me to add early morning appointment times.
The first two weeks of this month, every spot of every day filled up, and though a part of me complained about feeling burnt out, it excited me to have that high energy and inertia. I interact with real people, adults, in my Chiropractic clinic, and it keeps me sane when I spend the rest of the day relating to a one year old girl. Plus, it pays the bills.
Last week slowed down a little, but balanced out by the end of the week.
This week feels dead in the water. I have so much free time on my hands, so many hours where I am speaking to myself, or to the walls. Rationally, I know that every month has cycles, and this could just be a slow week. As a single mother and as a woman who is usually so busy that I lose track of all my projects, I am starting to get concerned about my practice and my bank account.
I realize that I need my work on a deep level, to connect me to the greater community that exists outside of me and Raphaela. I get satisfaction from helping people optimize their life and their health, knowing that my time with patients is a small part of my larger role as a mother.
It wouldn't be such a bad thing if I had some adult company and physical intimacy as well, I do miss that more than I am willing to admit. My day-to-day existence has become quite unbalanced, and that cannot evolve into something healthy for me, or for my daughter.
On the positive side, Harry and Raphaela's relationship has taken a wonderful turn, Harry chose to watch Raphaela sleep last night, rather than spending time with me. When Raphaela - with the best of intentions I am sure - tries to pet him, and instead pulls out his fur or suddenly pounces on him with her full weight, he sits there and takes it. Sometimes he even purrs while she treats him like one of her stuffed toys. My two children are getting along.
2 comments:
A useful thing I learned from my time-management coach is to have a list of things to do when you have down time.
If seeing other adults is a priority for you, then make a list of other adults with flexible work schedules (like me) so that if you need to get out you can call me and say "hey, wanna bring your computer to a cafe on Emek and work there" and then we can talk a little in person. (I know another person you can put on this "list of flex-time grownups" as well)
Sounds great, when do we meet for coffee?
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