The More Things Change...

After days of phone tag and mistimed feedings, Raphaela and I finally got together with Michal and her son Daniel. We all met in the Hadar Mall in the Talpiyot area of Jerusalem, and walked around to various stores, baby and otherwise. Michal insisted that we hit some grown-up stores as well, as long as the two babies were content in their strollers; "We mothers deserve time to ourselves too," she said. Indeed, the Baby Whisperer would be proud.

Turns out, the woman in the changing stall next to us at Castro was a single mother by choice, and had given birth to her son last year, at the age of 41. The three of us talked about maternity leave and breast-feeding boob sizes, and how having a child changes your life; how one smile or laugh lights up the world, and makes you forget your annoyance or exhaustion.

Then Michal's partner Yael met us for brunch, which for me was the only full and relaxed meal of the day. As we were sitting there, one of my mother's oldest friends from college, a religious woman who tried ever so hard to hide her discomfort, came over and asked me the second most annoying post-birth question: "Well, are you ready now to get married and get your baby a father? I want to set you up with a very nice boy."

(For the record, the most annoying question has been the not so subtle prodding of patients: "Are you bored yet? Because we need you to go back to work.")

As if my happiness, and my need to focus on bonding with my child are not legitimate until it can be said that I have a proper husband. Not that I have anything against marriage, just not now, five weeks after giving birth.

I politely told this woman that I did not feel ready to start dating. What I would have loved to do as well was introduce her to my lesbian friends sitting at the table with me, simply for the shock value, but I held back on the L-word. As a Chiropractor, I did not want to be responsible for possibly harming someones physical or mental health.