I had my six week gynecological appointment today; my stitches are fine and every organ is back in place. I weigh exactly the 78 kilo that I started at, at the beginning of my pregnancy, and now that I am allowed to resume running, my stomach may actually get return to my previous level of fitness.
(Why can't doctors check women without sticking their fingers in the least comfortable way possible?)
I also received a very important message from my subconscious today: after investigating another, better child care option, I started crying, because I understood that I am not ready to go back to work. I am not ready to give her to someone else, to miss that time watching her grow, no matter how much I enjoy being a Chiropractor. It feels so much less important than investing in my daughter.
I love her more and more every day, even when she resists to sleep, and must find a way to make this work thing work, without traumatizing me, and without going into minus at the bank.
3 comments:
good to hear that you made a decision you are happy with! Enjoy-she will be this little for such a short time
Of course, it's really much too early, and she's so little and fragile. Not going into the minus is extremely important, though -- don't rationalize that away.
Can you take appointments in your home for a while?
I think it's important to try to keep some perspective, despite the emotions and hormones. There are 24 hours in a day- if you spend 6-7 hours working to make sure you're not going into minus, you're really not going to be missing a whole lot of her growing up. You will still be bonded and attached, you'll just be able to enjoy that without going broke.
Not saying to go back to work tomorrow, but going back at 3 months or 5 months doesn't mean = sacrificing your bond with her.
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