Monday, July 1, 2013

Courtship RIP

Yesterday afternoon

Text Message:  Hi, it's me!

(Thinking it could be a confused patient, I call back the number and get the answering machine for some clinic that I do not recognize.  I leave a message that I don't know who this is, but if you need help please call me back.)

Text Message:  I'm busy right now for the next two hours. So I'll see you at 8 pm.
Me Text:  Who are you?  Do I know you?  Had we actually set any plans together?
Text Message:  You don't know me.  Your cousin gave me your number so we could be introduced.
Me Text   Dude, first things first, you didn't even tell me your name.  Secondly, I'm sure that my cousin told you that I have a child.
Text Message:  She did.
Me Text:  That being said, I cannot spontaneously plan an evening with you, because I have to arrange a baby sitter. 
Me Text:  Don't you think it would be better if we perhaps had a phone conversation first, even briefly, before we make other plans?  What's your name?
Text Message:  Apologies!
Me Text:  (sighing inside)  OK, so my daughter goes to sleep around 8:30.  You can call me after that, but DON'T call this cell phone. It is my work phone and I tend to ignore it in the evenings.  Here is my land line number.  I also tend to go to sleep by 10:30 pm.
Text Message:  Thanks.

(11 pm, cell phone rings.  I barely register it because I am in deep sleep.  This morning I check and there is a message from this Mystery Man/Boy who is apparently clueless and a terrible listener.)

Phone Message:  Hi, it's me!  And I will be awake all night so feel free to call any time. You have my number.



Midlife Singlemum said...

When the guy is irritating you before you've even met then you know it's not going to get any better. On tot he next....

Doc said...

Exactly. And that's the reason, or at least one of them, that I am not married right now. I keep thinking that men need a class on how to talk to and woo a partner properly.

Sarah said...

Wow. I hope you tell (off) your cousin.