Monday, September 3, 2012

Towards the New Year

Twice a year, before Rosh HaShanah and before Pessach, I clean out mine and Raphaela's closet and donate the clothing to a worthy organization here in Jerusalem.  Until now, I have held onto certain items of baby clothing, because they have sentimental value and because the option of another child in the future lurks at the back of my brain. The bags of saved outfits have taken over my entire storage area.

I have given myself until the age of 45 to become pregnant, for both health and personal reasons.  I have also accepted with love the blessing of one thank G-d healthy and vibrant daughter, and could feel most satisfied with that lot for the rest of my days.  There is no shame in finding a partner in the future and enjoying each other's company while building a blended family; giving time and attention to me as a woman and as an adult to enjoy a relationship, without reintroducing the complications of fatigue from pregnancy, 24-hour nursing and several more years of sleep deprivation.  The man who comes into our lives might also not want to expand the family anymore at our stage in life, and assuming I love him, I would accept that situation.

This morning, apropos of nothing in particular, I thought about donating all those bags of clothing this year, thus creating physical and emotional space as we head toward the new Jewish year.  I thought to myself, "Worse case scenario, LOL, I fall madly in love within the next year and enter into another pregnancy with a healthy baby, and we have to buy new clothing..."

1 comment:

tesyaa said...

oh I reread the post and saw that you're talking about baby clothes. I guess the sentimental factor is something, but you could probably donate 90% of the stuff and just keep the best of the lot. Even baby clothing styles change, and anything with stains should go out!