Monday, May 21, 2012

Something in the Air

On a daily basis, Raphaela stuffs at least one of her dolls inside her shirt, and she proudly and with obvious pleasure walks up to me and says, "I have a baby in my tummy."  I think she understands the very basic facts of pregnancy, ie that the Mommy (rather than the Daddy) gets fat because a baby grows inside, and she has hinted several times (by playing with that small bulge in my mid-rift that will not go away) that she would not object to being an older sister.

Yesterday, one of her Gan friends asked me if I have "any other little ones at home," and when I answered in the negative I became less interesting to him.

Today I found out that one of my closer friends is pregnant with her second child;  a woman my age who herself has undergone the fertility process to bring their son into the world, and saw this round of treatments as the last chance before the biological apparatus stopped working properly.  I hugged her and we jumped up and down, and I proclaimed that I felt more than ready to be an "Auntie" to their next child.

Admittedly, some part of me thought that the time is NOW, that if I don't even attempt to get pregnant again I will have to suffice with the one wonderful Raphaela that I have.  Most of me feels blessed that Raphaela and I are happy and healthy, that I get to see her learn and grow and surprise me every day.  I can live with that, and my friend will inherit an amazing collection of girl's clothing.

2 comments:

Midlife Singlemum said...

I've also had those thoughts and come to exactly the conclusion you came to. xxx

Commenter Abbi said...

A matter of degrees, but I'm feeling really done after 4, though there's a small part of me that's kind of in disbelief that there won't be another baby. Also, my husband "wouldn't mind" having another, but only if I really want one. Feel like I'm ready for the next stage, but...