Saturday, October 29, 2011

Attempts at Socializing

A  friend of mine celebrated the anniversary of his aliyah yesterday, with a kiddush in synagogue.  I thought to myself, "What a great opportunity to get out of the house with Raphaela, and enjoy the event with friends with whom I have not socialized in far too long!"

I dressed up for the Shabbat, Raphaela wore an adorable flowered dress, we negotiated for ten minutes until she agreed to sit in the stroller.  We arrived at the synagogue at ten am, thinking that the kiddush would take place within the hour.  It was the first time that I had brought Raphaela into a sanctuary and attempted to sit there like an adult.  My mother always asks me when I plan on introducing my daughter to the Greater Jewish communal life, and this seemed like a good occasion.

Unfortunately, Raphaela has not yet perfected her quiet voice, and so within minutes, she was practically shouting and fidgeting, and we had to leave to go outside.  The services lasted an extra hour than usual, and the clock edged closer and closer to her nap time, and she did not have patience.  I briefly saw a few of friends (shout out to Sarah and Miriam!) and then returned home, feeling dejected and quite frankly, a bit angry.

Not at Raphaela of course, but simply wondering when I get to start going out with friends again, seeing movies or perusing the museum, and maybe even dating toward a long-term relationship, with all the benefits that connection provides, physical and emotional.  When do I get to do something for me, now that Raphaela walks and talks and seems to be more independent?


Sarah said...

I can answer your questions! The answer is: Whenever you get a babysitter, my friend.

Regarding shule, I'm sure there are synagogues where there are other mothers of babies and young children who hang out outside whenever the child gets nudgy. So I suggest finding a place to pray where, if you need to take Raphaela outside, you'll run into other moms.

Otherwise, if you want to be able to stay in the sanctuary the whole time (or go on dates, or to a museum), the answer is in a babysitter.

Sarah said...

Also, eventually Raphaela will be old enough for shule play-groups that are organized in many congregations.

Commenter Abbi said...

Totally agree with Sarah. Find a good babysitter and starting going out! J-m is wall-to-wall students itching to find some extra money. You shouldn't have any problem finding someone reliable who can read her a story and put her to bed so you can go out.

Also, I agree, find a child friendly shul and preferably one with a toddler's service. It's out there, no reason to get angry.

Midlife Singlemum said...

In one more year tops, nap time will be a thing of the past so your day won't be cut in half by having to be home for it. At almost three, DD has not been to shul yet - I don't dare :)