This week has become a series of good-byes, from some of her teachers and her after-school activities, and one of our goldfish. Although she understands that the Summer vacation does eventually come to an end and she will return to her routine, I have witnessed lots of emotion and hugs.
Raphaela has a hard time with endings and separation.
I am going to add in one more farewell, and that is the retirement of this blog.
When I started this blog, I thought I could add something to the discussion, about fertility treatments, about pregnancy, about single motherhood and its place in a modern Jewish community.
When I started this blog, I also didn't quite realize that the internet never forgets, and that the world wide web gets everywhere on the globe. As much as I may have contributed, I have probably also offended people without meaning to. And for that I apologize.
There is another factor that has most recently become more relevant: Raphaela has finished First Grade and is reading in two different languages. It will not be long before she can sit in front of the computer and find this blog and read it, all by herself. For the most part, she will see how much I love her, how beautiful she is, inside and out, and how blessed I feel for having taken the step of becoming a single mother by choice.
There will also be posts that she will read about how hard it is to parent, alone or otherwise, and how not all of my days have been my finest of days.
I think I need to respect her privacy as a fully formed person, and I think that now is a good time to close this chapter. I want to thank everyone who read until now, and I do hope that something I said helped you.
I will be keeping this blog open now and again, for future postings of photographs, but from now on, mine and Raphaela's life will stay behind closed doors, and closed computers.
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I end with one last story: When we were driving home from school the other day, I reminded Raphaela that once Summer vacation begins, we will be going away for a small trip, in honor of my birthday.
How old will you be, Mommy?
25.
Wow, that's old!
Sorry, just joking, actually I will be 48 in July.
WOW, that's really old!
2 comments:
Sorry to hear but I completely understand. Enjoy your daughter and watching her grow up. I'm sure that your blog has helped others.
We've never met and I came upon your blog years ago by accident somehiw. I'm a Jewish mother of two boys, one with some anxiety, living in Arizona. I hadn't read this in years and randomly thought of you and your daughter today. I'm glad to see you were well at the last post and hope you remain so! Thinking of you from Arizona!
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