Wednesday, April 23, 2014

The Boss of Me

A man in his 40's contacted me a few days ago, off one of the Jewish dating web sites.  When I looked at his profile, this is how he described his ideal relationship:"  Let the man take care of everything.  A man is a man and a girl is a girl."

After editing the thoughts in my head, I wrote back to him that I had hoped it was not his intention to sound like a misogynist, like an ego-driven controlling man with the potential as an abuser. I mildly suggested that he re-read his words and understand how a self-respecting woman in the year 2014 hears them, and is turned off by them.

Really, is the idea of a healthy relationship of equals so foreign to the available men in my age group?

Besides, I already have another human being who is the Boss of me, IE my daughter.

About five minutes after the end of the holiday of Pessach, Raphaela appeared in front of me with a reporter style notebook and a pencil, and dictated the contents of our next shopping list, our official Chametz run:  "Croutons, oatmeal, Cheerios, Corn Flakes, waffles, pita bread, fruit bars, pasta and regular chocolate.  And oh, don't forget some fruits and vegetables as well!"


koshergourmetmart said...

perhaps he is old fashioned, or perhaps he is extremely wealthy and would not need his wife to work. I hope you did not say to him you "sound like a misogynist, like an ego-driven controlling man with the potential as an abuser." you do not want him bad mouthing you to others

Doc said...

First off, I didn't call him names. And secondly, if he did "bad mouth" me, what would he have to say? That I a woman who wants to be treated with respect in a relationship, rather than a vapid 1950s Barbie Doll, a "girl" who needs to be directed in my life, despite my accomplishments. Even Raphaela objects to the use of girl and will correct me, "Mommy, I am a BIG girl." A man looking to date in 2014 needs to look beyond the cave.