Several years ago, my parents cleaned out the paperwork in the house in Boston and presented each of their children with various records collected and saved over the years. In looking at my nursery report card, I was amused to see the following comment from my teacher, Mrs. H. Cohen:
"She tends to stay by herself. She does not mix with the other boys and girls. She prefers to be with me."
By the end of the year, apparently I performed better in terms of mixing with the other children my own age, and was "Promoted to first grade." Horray for mini-Me!
As well, I received a "Satisfactory Plus" in being neat and clean in appearance, in listening to and following directions, and in completing projects. A star in early mathematics, reading and writing, I fell short in showing an interest in singing.
My teachers in the elementary school years would use descriptors such as "Concientious," "Extremely Responsible," and "too outspoken." (You don't fit in well in within the Ultra-Orthodox community if you speak your mind and color outside the lines.)
Flash forward, two months ago: I gave Raphaela's head nursery teacher a form required by the HMO, in order for Raphaela to receive a consultation through their Early Childhood Development Center. The form was returned to me only yesterday, and I feared reading it, hearing the "truth" about my daughter.
Ultimately, other than the issue of her late walking, my child seems to have friends, play well with others, listen to her teachers, show compassion and warmth, and posseses both fine motor and gross motor skills. The head nursery teacher commented that Raphaela is [THANK G-D] a happy, smiling and independent child, clean and "well-cared for by her mother." She likes singing and music.
Whew!
While Raphaela does not have a consistant father figure in her life due to the circumstances of her conception, I did not have a reliable father figure in my childhood due to a messy divorce and a general lack of strong male role models. Perhaps therein lies the difference; I will continue to provide stability and infinite affection to Raphaela, so that she can continue to play well with others and experience fulfilling personal relationships for the rest of her life.
2 comments:
My parents also presented us with our report cards when they moved house a few years ago. Both my sister and I threw ours out in disgust. Both of us were bright, good, talented girls. I certainly don't need to read almost 40 years later that some self-important teachers thought I should have been trying harder or not talking so much. As a teacher myself I wish I'd had this insight earlier.
As I always tell my mom, Hashem is a single parent and does pretty well. ;)
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