Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Resenting the Breast

In Gina Ford's Contented Little Baby Book, she writes that it is not a badge of shame if a mother chooses the bottle over the breast - even though "Breast is best." - because the most important key to a happy child is a happy and well rested mother. No child ever died from being breast fed.

I have to admit that she made me feel a little better about the feelings of guilt I have been experiencing lately, when Raphaela latches on and I feel this pain and sensitivity in my nipples, and I wonder if the breast feeding is worth all the fuss.

Both my La Leche counsellor (and a Barnard sister) and my doctor assure me that the sensitivity could be a commonplace Candida (Thrush) infection, and I have already started using the cream the doctor gave me. Mostly, I love the time with her on my breast because I know that it serves us both well emotionally and physically; I look forward to that smile on her face when she is done eating.

But I am human, and I cannot deny that the pain makes me jump and instills in me some fear, which would then presumably affect the supply of my milk in the short and long run. Sometimes I like expressing much better and giving it to Raphaela in a bottle, it is my milk without the pain. I am hoping that this period passes and we resume our happy routine, because I intend on breast feeding for at least six months.

1 comment:

koshergourmetmart said...

don't worry about it affecting your milk-when I would have a cut on my breast b/c my kids teeth came in early and they would bite down I would feel this pain from their taste buds touching the cut for a short while and then it would go away. I ended up bf until they were 2, not full time but in the early AM. The added bonus was no period until after they were 2.