Drank half a bottle of wine last night, check.
Sat with friends today at the cafe and had my first coffee in a month, check.
Will have sushi next week for dinner.
This process of fertility and IUI is like buying a lottery ticket, when the winnings are in the many millions. From the time you buy the ticket until the actual draw, you fantasize and plan how you will spend your millions, how your life will change. You may know full well that the chances are slim that you will be the Grand Prize Winner the first time around, and yet you live in a euphoric bubble.
It was so nice to be pregnant for that week and a half, to speak to my stomach and know that something was new and different, knowing that the statistics work against me. Yet I felt happy and expectant, ready to turn my life upside down with the advent of motherhood.
When my lottery number did not come up this time, I certainly experienced the disappointment, but can't wait for my next cycle, to try again.
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