Raphaela's fever broke Wednesday morning, Erev Chag.
For the past three days, she has been ingesting nothing but Electrolyte Punch, and this morning she agreed to eat Cheerios and a few pieces of banana, and she asked to nurse.
And yet, her behaviour still does not resemble the Raphaela I had taken for granted, but after three exhausting days of illness, I do not blame her.
Thank G-d we are on the mend.
There will be a few habits to break after this whole affair wraps up, including the changes in the bedtime routine and regressive tendencies. She has gotten used to me holding her throughout the day, and falling asleep on my shoulder, rather than in her own bed. Last night, we lay down on the futon in her room, I played the disc for Peter and the Wolf and we both fell asleep together, her little head and curly hair resting on my chest.
I love that feeling, snuggling with her, and yet I know well enough that now she is one year old, and she will become more independent, and I welcome it.
2 comments:
Doc, I don't think what you're experiencing is unusual. And -- as a single mother who hasn't gone out there looking for another husband -- I think a lot of it has to do with an optimistic person's natural tendency to see the good in whatever situation she finds herself in.
When I was married, I thought marriage was important, and I put a lot of energy into taking care of the marriage and my husband. I wasn't really comfortable with it, but I figured I'd work it out eventually, and probably I would have. I see the same in my married friends.
Now? It's funny -- I was just talking about dating with a woman at shul, and said something about how the problem is the men in my dating-age range are very anxious to marry. And I like how we live now. It's great -- we have a super time, our house is lovely and happy, I don't pick up after able-bodied adults, and, as I put it: "There's one office in this house, and it's mine."
Dating, dating is another story. I love romance -- so long as it doesn't intrude on how I raise my daughter. But -- and this is important -- I really didn't even think about these things until she had some measure of independence. You know? It's nearly all-consuming, being mama to a baby, a toddler, even a preschooler. These days, my sweetie goes to school in the morning and isn't home till suppertime, and is off making her own friends, developing her own interests, learning about the things that pull her.
I wouldn't sweat it, in other words, and I think you're doing great. This experience will ground you and will also leave you much better off, later, if you're dating. I find now that there are whole ranges of behaviors I'd have put up with before and won't now -- after all, if my daughter knows better than to treat me that way, why would I take it from a man?
Thanks for the support Amy, I was beginning to feel like my thought processes were damaged.
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