Awesome Responsibilities

After a seriously deep treatment, both emotionally and physically, with my Chiropractor on Friday, I think I can get through the next week and a half without crying, more firmly set in the belief that the worst is over. According to his exam, my placenta is AOK, my body strong, and the baby has let go of the false beliefs she adopted. As well, it seems she has fully accepted the terms of our deal, so assuming the next ultra-sound comes back with better results, this child officially has a name, the name she has chosen.

As the birth gets closer, I have started to think about two important legal issues: one, who I can choose (in Israel) to make medical decisions for me, should I be unable to speak for myself; and two, who would I choose as a guardian for my child, should something G-d Forbid happen to me.

The first problem is more easily solved, I broached the topic with my cousin who lives here in Jerusalem, he has become my adopted older brother in the past few years. He may have joked about it - to reduce the tension of the seriousness of the implications - but he does understand how I grew up and the core values from my childhood, and my stated preferences.

The second question of guardianship becomes more complicated: if my sister were not living in the Ultra-Orthodox Yeshiva world in New York, I would have no hesitation asking her. She plans on having at least 13 children, so what is one extra...and she and my brother-in-law (when he is home) excel in parenting their current brood. Unfortunately, I want my child raised in Israel, and I want my child raised in an environment where the option for women is not restricted to strict schooling, marriage at 17 and children at 18. For all of the nurturing and love they could provide, that path is not even on my radar for my daughter.

Here in Israel, I know many couples with children, and most of them are not great parents. The couples I know who truly invest in their children, may not want to take on another, or cannot think about that option given certain circumstances in their own lives. So that remains unresolved at the moment.