Thursday, March 26, 2009

Recurring Fears

Going into my 14th week, and fears of the financial sort have invaded my mind once again. The last time I did a strict accounting of how much a child costs and could I swing it, was over a year ago. Before the world-wide economic collapse and before the whole pregnancy was "real."

I could not fall asleep last night, thinking about how many hours I could manage to work during the day when the baby is small and home more or less, and whether that would be enough to support us. I know that I want this child and I know that other single parents and couples figure out the numbers; I also know that especially in Israel, certain assistance can be made available.

I have my faith that G-d gave me this child now because it was the right time, and I continue to have faith that G-d will help me find a way to provide for this child. And yet, I worry, because I want this baby to have everything he/she needs; love will be in abundance, and it makes it easier when money or lack thereof does not get in the way.

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