Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Performance Anxiety II

Now that I am back to work full-time, I must schedule milk expressing in between patients, as I miss two of Raphaela's feedings while she plays at the care taker; if I don't pump, my breasts feel like they will explode, not to mention that it directly affects the quantity of milk I am able to produce on average.

Most of my Chiropractic clients either come on time, or a little late, and some arrive early on purpose, thinking that if they make their presence known, they will be seen sooner than planned. That used to work, before the breast feeding thing happened.

Yesterday, I started my expressing break and got about 100 ml (4 ounces), quite pleased with myself because the day before I was unable to pump as much as I thought I should have. I was about to switch to the other side, when a patient arrived, a whole 20 minutes early. Despite her protest - "Pretend I am not here...I won't bother you...etc." - as soon as she walked in the door my professional brain kicked in, and the milk stopped flowing.

I tried to go into another room and close the door, but then the patient started her usual campaign of what I call 'active quiet,' meaning that she coughed, moved chairs around, talked loudly on her cell phone; all so I wouldn't forget that I left her camping out in my salon.

I gave up, put the Avent pump away, and invited her into the treatment room, her protests trailing all the way. She should not take it personally, the milk would stop if I was feeling stressed or pressured for time in any way.

This working mother routine is harder than it sounds.

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