This weekend I felt like I ran a full marathon with Raphaela; she refused to nap for most of Saturday and by the time we got to 5:30 in the afternoon yesterday, I was so tired I could barely stand or speak, and was bumping into furniture. I was actually afraid that I would drop Raphaela while holding her, and once I tucked her into bed, I went to sleep soon after.
On Friday night we had dinner with a couple who have a daughter about the same age as Raphaela. The mother told me that she had stopped nursing less than two weeks ago, and we discussed how hard it was for her, and her child. I expressed my fear that when I decide to completely wean Raphaela, it will become a battle of wills, as she makes her wishes known already, and for a child who is well mannered, I am expecting lots of pulling up my shirt and tantrums.
By way of illustration, every morning when Raphaela gets dressed for Gan, a complete vetting of the outfits takes place, with my daughter the fashion maiven approving one in five outfits. And she is not yet one and a half years old...
I must find a Weaning Consultant, who can teach me how to say "No" when I do not wish to nurse; who can advise me how to avoid health complications until the milk ceases; and how to deal with the consequences until Raphaela understands that it is OK to move onto the next stage of maturity and development.
Then, once I stop breast feeding, I can return to my running, and that last bit of pregnancy flab in my stomach will go away.
3 comments:
Pick the least important feeding of the day and distract. If it usually happens at home, stay out of the house, away from the place, chair, etc.
If it happens also out of the house and she asks you, say "not now" and find something exciting to distract her. Like everything else in parenting, if you display firm, cheerful confidence, she'll go along with you. If you seem ambivalent and worried yourself, it will make it that much harder.
If you do it gradually, one feeding at a time, you shouldn't have any health problems. Don't forget, she's already half weaned already because she's on solid food.
Tip about choosing clothes, from a friend of mine with kids:
If you are in a hurry and need her to choose, or if she is choosing summer clothes when it is winter, give her 2-3 choices (tops) and say "pick one of these." If she insists on something else, just keep repeating firmly "do you want this one? Or this one? This one? or this one?" Eventually she'll pick. This way she does feel she had SOME choice in the matter, without giving her the freedom to choose something inappropriate for the weather or to go on forever looking through her stuff.
It sounds like you are getting into power struggles with RR. I had that problem and did a chug horimand it changed my life. See their website:
http://www.merkaz-shefer.org/index.html
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