A Whole New Level of Beurocracy

I should have known that it was going to be a very long morning, when I got on the bus to go into town, to have an ultra-sound and fetal monitoring, and the bus made an entire tour of the city, due to the construction downtown; the bus' final stop was the Central Bus Station, and I was forced to walk another 15 minutes back towards the Mahane Yehuda market, to get to the medical center.

Hadassah Hospital, where I conducted my fertility treatments and follow up appointments, seemed much more organized than my HMO. First of all, I had five different stations today: Monitoring, Ultra-Sound, Urine testing, blood pressure and a doctor's consultation. At no time was there an order assigned, and so at each location, tense fighting broke out among the women mulling around; "I was here first." "I have a scheduled appointment." "I am in my 41rst week and considered an emergency." (That would be me!) "I am due in three weeks but am considered a high risk pregnancy, because I have twins."

I didn't need that stress.

While sitting on the extremely comfortable easy chair during the fetal monitoring, the baby slept, happy after the walk and exercise I did to get to the clinic. To wake her up, they gave me these disgustingly healthy (even for me) sesame cookies, which certainly caused movement but also gave me nausea. If I have to go back, I will bring grapes and water from home, maybe a whole picnic, as I ended up spending most of the morning there.

In my consultation with the doctor, he requested that I come back for the same round of testing on Thursday, assuming I have not yet gone into labour. He plans on doing stripping, which he has already warned, is painful. (I bought Castor Oil today, and will only use it instead of the stripping on Thursday. I prefer diarrhea to invasive vaginal and pelvic pain.)

And he told me that when my water breaks, I am to rush immediately to the hospital, as there is an increased concern regarding infection with overdue (Week 41-42) women. My doula disagrees, and has said that if the water breaks and it is clear, there is every reason to labour in the comforts of home, until the contractions are approximately four minutes apart.

If nothing happens over the weekend as a result of various minor interventions, they will send me to the hospital to be induced medically next week. Meanwhile, I am meant to "walk a lot" (hasn't worked) and engage in "lots of loving."

To top off the morning, I received a call from a particularly obnoxious patient, who spent five minutes yelling at me because I hadn't kept her informed of my progress or lack thereof, and who spent much time telling me that it is my "fault" that the baby has not yet checked out of Hotel Uterus.

So glad I stopped working before Rosh Hashana, any inner strength I have left must get me through this next week.

My major emotional hurdle right now involves realizing and remembering my faith, that G-d and this baby will decide when it is time; and trying not to be angry on some irrational level at the baby for staying inside. It comes from love and wanting to meet her (95%), and I will admit, impatience (5%, but that's a powerful 5%).

On a whole other level, even though it is of a much lesser concern right now, my parents have plane tickets for next week, Chol Hamoed Succot. Booked on the assumption that the baby will have already been born, and I will have had time to recover in the Baby Hotel, I can't imagine how much more tense it will be with three family members waiting for her arrival, instead of one.

Operation Starve Out the Baby

In the end, I decided not to eat anything at all during Yom Kippur, and with my limited and halachically based drinking, maybe had a total of two glasses of liquid all day.

Despite my heroic efforts, the fast is now officially ended and there is no sign of consistent contractions or the briefest glint of labour. As of tomorrow morning, I must start doing intense monitoring via ultra-sound and Doppler, so that the general Israeli medical professionals can decide if I am truly overdue and in need of inducing.

I think on the way home, after the monitoring, I will stop by the pharmacy and pick up some Castor Oil. (This very strong-willed child has already resisted Acupuncture, three Chiropractic treatments in the last week and pressure points. I am getting desperate.)

No News...

is no news. I suspect and hope that my fasting (with drinking and eating in the halachic way) will kick start what one of my friends called yesterday, "the final launch."

Gmar Chatima Tovah to you and your families, may we all be blessed and inscribed with a wonderful year.

Four Different Due Dates

Depending on the source, apparently I have many different due dates, summarized in the handy chart below:

Event: Projected Due Date (Week 40)

My last period: 27 September 2009 (Yom Kippur)
Actual IUI: 29 September 2009
12 Week Ultra-Sound: 24 September 2009
22 Week Ultra-Sound: 20 September 2009 (Rosh Hashana)

So Sunday of Rosh Hashana came and went, with me thinking that I was past my due date.
Today came and went, with me thinking that this was the actual accurate due date, as I had been told that the ultra-sound is most diagnostic.
Now, having just returned from my gynecologist, he seems unconcerned as he thinks I am due right before Yom Kippur. He informed me that should I not give birth by the fast day, starting Tuesday of next week I must get a specific monitoring and ultra-sound, every two days, until they find the "smallest excuse" to send me to the hospital and induce.

Meanwhile, I am peeing almost continuously. When I went to the Jerusalem Botanical Gardens yesterday to feed the ducks, I went to the bathroom, flushed the toilet and as I was washing my hands - hadn't even left the room - had to pee again. I would take longer walks if I weren't so afraid of needing a relatively clean toilet.

Revenge of the Hormones

In the last week, hints of the nausea I suffered through in the first four months have returned. My skin has become quite sensitive, combined with my usual Fall allergies.

More than that, and perhaps aided by my recent sense of boredom and lack of structure, I got into bed last night and was suddenly overcome with an inexplicable and overwhelming sadness; and a whole series of unfounded concerns about the baby, wondering if she is OK in there; and a feeling for myself that I don't know how I could emotionally get through the next two weeks, if the young lady decides to arrive late, as the official due date has arrived today.

I sat in bed and cried, and when I was done, I could not tell you why I was crying or why suddenly I was playing out worst-case-scenarios in my head.

I have not cried that way during most of the pregnancy, with the exception of several stressful events, and have not succumbed to the stereotype of the irrational and hysterical pregnant woman, though I suppose all this could be blamed on hormones.

Filling Time

It has become my goal to find at least one errand or activity that gets me out of the house, each day. It was easier over Rosh Hashana, because there were meals and holiday schedules. Now, in my second official week of pre-birth vacation/maternity leave, the challenge grows.

Yesterday, I rented a movie and after returning it, went to the supermarket. In the evening, I received a Chiropractic treatment and took the very long route home, in order to force myself to walk the local hills of Jerusalem.

Today, I have a facial scheduled for the early afternoon, and am hoping to meet a friend for lunch, as the area of Emek Rephaim has some wonderful cafes, and people keep telling me that once the baby comes, it won't be so easy to simply meet friends outside the house.

On Thursday I have a doctor's appointment, should I not be in labour.

The rest of the time is filled with naps, phone calls and small jobs around the house. As I am not the type to enjoy totally unstructured free time, I welcome the challenges that will come when this baby arrives.

Still Hanging In There

Sometime last week, I remember thinking that it would be nice to give birth after the first rain of the season. I love that fresh smell in the air after the rain has fallen; Fall in general is my favorite season. Then I decided against the idea, because normally the first rains come to Israel during the holiday of Succot, which is approximately three weeks away.

Lo and behold, it rained both days of Rosh Hashana, and I thought, "Aha, a sign from G-d that I could give birth, any moment now." Especially since my official due date falls anywhere between today (Sunday) and Thursday of this week, depending on whether you go by my last period, the actual insemination, or the ultra-sound results.

Alas, Sunday is almost over and other than the usual Braxton Hicks contractions, I am not feeling any signs of active labour. I have also been told (way too often) that first children normally arrive late, no matter how excited I feel for the big event. Maybe tonight she will decide that with the start of the Jewish New Year, it is a good time to meet and greet her fans.