tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5488433810039574602.post4738246274346013137..comments2023-10-28T02:50:16.786-07:00Comments on Jewish Single Mom By Choice: Film AppreciationDochttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05261212450148255826noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5488433810039574602.post-5650175505328828082010-06-07T03:09:08.407-07:002010-06-07T03:09:08.407-07:00What I'd *like* to think I would have said to ...What I'd *like* to think I would have said to that woman is "Yes, your husband absolutely has the legal right to be an Ass in this country. If he wants to be an Ass, fine, I'll leave so he can smoke. Are you OK with him being an Ass?"Sarahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12012646103361709320noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5488433810039574602.post-13292664860127112062010-06-06T21:29:52.881-07:002010-06-06T21:29:52.881-07:00Whoa, I never saw myself as a pain in the ass or a...Whoa, I never saw myself as a pain in the ass or as self-righteous, but rather as an opinioniated woman who chooses to fight the battles in which I believe. And my daughter is a worthy cause.<br /><br />Compared to the Type A person I was before I moved to Israel in 1997, I am actually much more mellow, and am proud of myself for being less of an hysterical parent than I could be, given my professional background and the fact that I am a first-time mother.<br /><br />As far as the live and let live concept, I challenge anyone who has a smoker blowing ash into their child's face to sit there and be quiet, or to leave the park and let the smoking git win the day.Dochttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05261212450148255826noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5488433810039574602.post-50424843580887871442010-06-06T15:42:56.144-07:002010-06-06T15:42:56.144-07:00Finally - someone says it! You must chill out, and...Finally - someone says it! You must chill out, and let go of some of the self-righteousness. If someone is smoking, move away. If your babysitter has too many steps, choose someone else.sarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08754783149359679241noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5488433810039574602.post-67017292398364698292010-06-06T12:01:04.218-07:002010-06-06T12:01:04.218-07:00You seem to be quite a pain in the ass, according ...You seem to be quite a pain in the ass, according to what you wrote in this post and also in earlier posts (about your nephews and nieces in the US using too much water, etc...)<br /><br />Ever thought of living and letting live?<br /><br />If he smokes and you do not want your daughter to inhale the smoke, take her somewhere else.<br /><br />This is spoken by a radical, determined non-smoker.Ilanahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05292365558266518895noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5488433810039574602.post-39037721691889708752010-06-06T11:52:56.747-07:002010-06-06T11:52:56.747-07:00The other read of that movie, of course, is that i...The other read of that movie, of course, is that it's the dominant Hollywood ethic: Know your place, bee-otch. You can have career (and lotsa luck, because no man wants to get beat by a girl) or you can be Mom, but you're evil if you try to do both. See Murphy Brown.<br /><br />You see the same thing in Kramer v. Kramer, where the woman is dreadful & appalling for doing the same thing men do routinely: She splits to go find herself, then comes back and wants to be Mom again; the Dustin Hoffman character is vindicated when he wins. Of course, when men split, we go tsk tsk, but they're heroes if they come back and want to disrupt everyone's life so they can try again. <br /><br />I'm currently finding no conflict whatsoever between single motherhood and full engagement with career. Neither does the internal medicine doc down the street. That's because our daughters are school-aged and we've built large and supportive networks to help us raise these kids. <br /><br />You have to be very careful, I think, not to lose sight of the fact that while now is very intense, children don't require this level of care for very long. If you're only having one, it's not going to take ten, fifteen years out of your career. It might take five. And for that you don't need to throw away a career. <br /><br />As far as Wall Street and other high-powered places go, I think the movies tend to miss the women's side of the sexual politics. Can you have children? Of course. Can you be, visibly, a mother, deeply engaged in your kids' lives? Yes. All those guys subscribe to the cult of the mother. What you can't lose is your middle finger and your ability to win. You need to be able to do both jobs at once. But that's just another name for being female. <br /><br />(I'm thinking now of Maria Bartiromo. She hasn't got any kids, but I cannot imagine her letting any of those guys use motherhood to trip her up. Nor can I imagine her neglecting her children.)<br /><br />Breaking into the car (immediately) and asking the smoker to put it out were the right things to do, no reason to hesitate.Amy Charleshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07001791173242631714noreply@blogger.com