Sunday, August 24, 2008

Veteran of the System (Round 5)

Saturday night, August 23 (Day 5): Started injecting myself with hormones, I seem to be getting better at it with each round.

Monday, August 25 (Day 7): Hadassah hospital for Ultrasound and blood tests. I got there so early and the regular crowd had not arrived yet, and so I was able to leave before eight am, it was a pleasure. The nurse also allowed me to fill out a bunch of forms in advance, practically giving me free reign within the office; in recognition both of my status as somewhat of a veteran of the process, and my status as a medical professional.

I also started reading serious parenting books from two role models in the world of children and psychology: Dr. Phil and Mister Rogers. Understanding the entusiasm and love these two men have for their calling, that of raising the happiest children possible, I cannot help but get excited as well.

Tuesday, August 26 (Day 8): In addition to the normal injections and vitamins, I received an accupuncture treatment from a woman who specializes in cases of fertility, and has apparently helped many women overcome the disappointment of failed pregnancies.

Thursday, August 28 (Day 10): While waiting today for blood tests I spoke to one of the "regulars" and we started comparing the common experience of anticipation and dissapointment every cycle. I suggested to her that we speak on a regular basis, when we need to, to be each other's support system. As we started talking about our families reaction to our choice, turned out we had a lot in common: she comes from a religious Sephardic family and they, like my own parents, are having a very hard time dealing with the possibility that thier daughter will conceive a child without a proper husband. They called her decision to enter into IUI selfish. (In contrast, my parents have not called me anything, as they refuse to discuss it...)

After the ultra-sound, the technicial asked me if I was still spotting, as there had been blood when she was checking for follicles. Concerned, I asked the doctors what the blood meant, and he answered that the tech probably scratched some other biological part along the way. Meanwhile, the IUI is scheduled for next Monday.

I went to a BBQ tonight to help a friend celebrate 16 years of living in Israel. There was great wine there, and I abstained - something about alcohol elevating the temperature in the liver, according to the accupuncturist - and I could not help but wonder how the other single men and women who were there would treat me if I had showed up to the party with a belly and sans husband. I would like to think that at least some of the women, who themselves want to be married and have children, would respect the choice.

Some people take on a mortage, I am taking on parenthood.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Standing Up for Myself

It is Day 31 since I last had my period and my fertility route was put on hold, because my body reacted to the increase in hormone dosage by developing cysts.

No real sign of my period, except for a bit of PMS in the form of stomach cramping and diarrhea this morning, which also could have been from too much dairy eaten last night.

I went to Hadassah Hospital this morning, the ultra-sound examination was cyst-free (yay!) with a thick uterine opening. The nurse implied that my period is on the way.

I was actually proud of myself for standing up to the nurses. They had given me instructions - without properly reading my file updates - to prepare for a natural IUI, and I immediately challenged it. After one nurse was appalled that I would question her authority, she passed me along to another nurse in the office. I explained that if they checked my records, I had done three natural IUI treatments with no success, and thus, the doctor had put me on the hormone-assisted IUI path; there is no sense in continuing to do something that has not worked in the past. The second nurse humored me, and said she would confer with the doctor again.

One hour later, she called me back and admitted I was right, and told me to prepare for Puregon injections on Day 5. After not insisting hard enough in the beginning of July that I needed a break, I am now taking my body and my inner voice much more seriously.

Now all I need to do is get my stress levels under control, so that it does not interfere with this process.